Directioner, Selenator… and Fuddunomics…

Friday, June 24, 2016

I had almost given up on the next generation… when it came to taking the English language to the next level of revolution… what with the onslaught of the most truncated spellings of words in the SMS era… and then the WhatsApp era… and then every other era that came up in the last few years…

At times, the pre-mid-and-post-terminated words… and the creation of all kinds of acrimonious acronyms, abbreviations and mnemonics… gave me enough brow-raising and nerve-wracking moments… enough to launch me into an imaginary, fictional future state of green algal vegetation… where my unicellular macrobial existence grew on the red, hardbound 65 year old Chambers 20th Century Dictionary… published at the turn of the last century… and bought by my father a couple of decades before I was born…

Particularly when the Chambers used to, without fail, fail to illuminate my grip around my newfound word stock through the SMSes… and WhatsApp texting…

Until last weekend… when a team of four 15 year young bloggers on WordPress.com – the blog-site where I host Fursat Friday… sent me a message with a comment on one of my recent blog-posts…

So… if I lost hope on the next generation i.e. Gen Y (or the Millennials)… the Gen Z comes to the rescue… THERE IS HOPE…

One of the four girls is a Directioner… and another is a Selenator…

Stumped – are you?

I have this habit of having a silent, closed-eye go at the etymology of any new word that I hear or read for the first time… some patient nano-seconds of figuring out what could be possibly the root of these words… which most normally lead me to a Latin, Anglo-Saxon or a Germanic origin…

Now obviously… my inherited nerves blipped a cue for me to reach out to my Chambers… but I knew I had little hope there…

As more habitually these days… my newly acquired digital nerves guide me to all things that are Google…

If you have already guessed what these words mean… you are in the same league as my newfound friends on wordpress.com… but if you have not… do not lose heart… the Urban Dictionary provides the succour…

Directioner – I learnt – is one who stops short of worshipping the all boy band – One Direction… so, unmistakably a lot of young girls… and that includes my 13 year young daughter…

Selenator – I learnt – is one who is a pronounced, obsessive fan of Selena Gomez and who loves everything she does… to the brink of impersonating her if she were to be suddenly engulfed by mother earth… her fandom… or the innumerable rival gangs – the 25 million Beliebers, seduced by Justin Bieber on Twitter following… or the thousands of Lovatics, the Demi Lovato idol worshippers – who are often at loggerheads with the Selenators – like “Barbie in the Princess Power” project…

Now… just when I thought I was almost done with my weekend allowance of commissioned neologism… my friend Saurabh Khullar right from an alcove in an Adelaide pub… dreams up a new word dedicated to the world of humanitarian sciences…

Humanitarian – because the cause is pious… the intent is revolutionary… and the science impacts the largest of all human communities – the sanely stupid and un-dubiously dumb…

Evidently the Punjabi word FUDDU… is the latest addition to many a Gen Z vocabulary… and, of course, a lot more in-glorifying in the Urban Dictionary since the release of UDTA PUNJAB, last weekend… a film that my wife and I went to see in a nearby cinema along with a host of Sardars (Sikhs) and their families… a rare yet a pleasant sight in the locales where I live… and a film that I shared my views on… quite privately on Facebook…

Close on the heels then… was Saurabh’s unadulterated articulation of how the science of FUDDUNOMICS works… except that one censored cut where he uses the forbidden F word as an adjective with the noun Fuddu…

“A Fuddu makes a film thinking the audience is all Fuddu… Fuddus then go and pay to watch the film wondering if they were being Fuddus for not watching it… the rest of Fuddus deliberate and beam that they were lesser Fuddus than the Fuddus who saw the film in the first place… but will still end up watching it on TV when the Fuddu (this is where I have censored the forbidden F word)… who made the film sells TV rights for it…”

But because the Fuddu who made the film… deliberately inserts the forbidden F word in the film most innocuously only once… in an otherwise saintly script devoid of any bad language… the Film Certification Board at the highest level objects to the forbidden F word… the film goes into a controversy… the Fuddu filmmaker goes to court… makes a Fuddu of the judge… and lo and behold… the movie opens to Fuddu crowds teeming to the cinemas… and the Fuddu filmmaker rakes in the moolah…

Meanwhile… the war rooms are readying to heated TV reality shows in Uncle Sam’s land… between the Selenators… the Lovatics… the Directioners… the Beliebers… 3 fans from each of these fandoms put in a room together for 2 months… a la Big Boss…

I am thinking of planting some Fuddus from our filmdom there… as wild card entries…

What do you think…?

Happy Weekend…

Ravi Kodukula

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