I Love My EMIs…

Friday, August 26, 2016

“Raviji… I need the house back by end of August… you clearly have 4 months… please ensure you vacate the house… as my 5 chickens, 2 turtles, 7 non-poisonous reptiles and my husband, have decided to come back from Riyadh and they are going to be living there”… my landlady aka the owner of the house that I had rented…

I had readied the house… pest controlled it with anti-venom chemicals… and made it reptile-friendly… before I embraced my next EMI… and moved into my “Own House” here in Navi Mumbai…

That was a little over 5 years ago… April 2011…

And a lot of years after what I had first told my parents in August 1998… “I am not going to move out of this house till I have bought one for myself and Smee”…

——————-

As was customary in life to get married… so was it conventional that Smee moved into the house that I was living in at that time in November 1997 when we got married…

Smee never complained… she was a meticulously measured metric of a conspiracy theory that quite unhurriedly unfolded in front of my heart… the co-conspirators were my mother and my younger sister… and all three of them were visibly, at least to the naked heart, great friends… as much as their planet of fidelity – Venus, would allow…

That was till Smee and I were married…

While Smee started settling in… I started discovering the myriad Venusian ways that cause life’s gazillions of trials and turbulences… and the colossal impact that they have on the poor souls from Mars… i.e. my Father and I…

Around the same time – after abundant living on a planet noticeably distinct to Venus and Mars… I also noticed I had wings… I needed to fly…

I needed a bar at home… Udta Kodukula…

And my Father… being the Old Monk that he is with a pietistic Brahminical orientation to life… would not allow a bar in “his house”…

That was the first time… apart from the integral incongruence that I had with Einstein over the Theory of Relativity… I discovered Martians can have differences too…

Come On, Father… just because you did not take a single bribe being in the Government all your life… does not mean that you consider setting up a bar at home a cardinal sin…

Doing professionally well… well – in tune with those times, I was still responsible for my own bowels and bladder as an “individual contributor”… you see, “people managers” needed to be in mid-40s… preferably male, distinguishably paunchier… with 3-4 biologically produced children slightly younger than you, so that they can copiously call you “Beta” (son) at the start and end of each sentence…

Trust me… I was a ‘son’ to two such managers in life…

——————–

And the search of my Own Bar in my Own Home… led me to my first EMI in life… and this caused a worse Electro Magnetic Interference (EMI) with my Own Father’s philosophy of how one needs to deal with all that is ‘Debt’ in life…

Equipped with my Father’s philosophy – “marne se pehle ‘Sar pe Chhat’ honi chahiye… par ‘Apne Paison’ se” (before I die, I must have my own house… but with my own money)… I calculated the amount of time it will take me before I could possibly have my own “Sar pe Chhat” if I were to do it with my “Apna Paisa” before I died…

I vowed… I will not be bogged down by any more Martian squabbles with my Father…

This led to multiple levels of Electro Magnetic Interference with the moneylenders, banks, loan sharks… all preying with a palpable twinkle in their eyes… after all… with a 16% rate of interest (1998) that they would earn… why would they not…?

I got my loan… and the EMIs started… with that… I started loving my workstation at my Employer’s newly acquired Real Estate in Gurgaon…

Smee and I gifted ourselves our “Own House”… on February 14, 1999… an assured symbol of love and affection… our own Real Estate in Palam Vihar, Gurgaon…

The 1,100 sq.ft… 1 BHK with an attached terrace… ‘Barsati’ as one would call it in Delhi… is inarguably still the best place that Smee and I have lived in, in the last 18 years… and the longest till May 2005… Krtin and Kavya – our children walked through that front door, opening out to the staircase… the peacocks and the chicken from the farms around… the parrots on the tree line in front of the house… the occasional rumble of a train on the rail line…

It wasn’t much before our “House” turned into a “Home”…

With the celestial design of bodily growth of our children… and to park Krtin’s toy car… and Kavya’s life sized ‘Winnie the Pooh’… we needed space…

As I reflect now… “Hamaare Paair bade ho gaye… hame ek badi Chaadar ki zaroorat thi…” (our legs had grown taller… we needed a bigger blanket to cover our feet)…

Another EMI…a bigger, fatter EMI… and I started loving my Employer too… not just his Real Estate…

Smee grew lustful… not towards me, but a prospect of designing our future Real Estate dalliance… with an abysmally low rate of interest of 7% (2005)… who would not be…?

She tried her Venusian charm on me… “when we grow old, we must live in one… we must rent out one so that we get our rental income… one each for Krtin’s Education and his Wedding… and similarly for Kavya… 6 in all”…

And thus sounded the death knell…

Many multiple EMIs later… and with the feet and the blankets outdoing each other… now, I don’t only love my workstation, my employer, my job, my boss, my matrix boss, my team… but I have mastered a universally death defying skill…

I love my EMIs… Very Motivating…

Happy Weekend…

Ravi Kodukula

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s